How I Got My First (and Second) Job AKA Interview Fails and Tips

I've only had two real jobs so far.

Honestly, I don't even know how I got them. Here is my recollection of how the interviews went, so you can learn from my mistakes.

First Interview–Tim Horton’s

I got my first job at 16 years old. It was at Tim Horton’s (yes, I am a typical Canadian) and I barely prepared for the interviews (two different managers interviewed me at two different times). I almost feel like they hired me because they felt bad about making me wait for so long.

Anyway, I walked in the store with no expectations. I waited for a manager to come interview me for maybe an hour, because the store was really busy. I was a little overdressed in a semi-formal black dress, and I felt out of place in the fast-food restaurant where everyone was wearing stuff like khakis and socks with sandals.

She asked me some generic questions, like “what does Tim Horton’s mean to you?” and “why do you want to work here?”

I BS’d my way through most of the interview.

Then she asked me a question I’ll never forget:

“When you walk into the store, what’s something that stands out to you?”

I panicked. My eyes darted around the store, searching for something I could talk about. My mouth thought faster than my brain did, and I blurted out words I’m still not sure whether I regret or not:

“The welcoming lighting.”

Yes, I know this light fixture kind of looks like a boob but it was the best picture I could find on Google

I must’ve blacked out, because try as I might, I cannot for the life of me remember the manager’s reaction to my answer. I remember rambling about the lighting and how, when I walked in the store, I noticed it and it made me feel a sense of belonging. I was hanging on by a thread (of sanity) and I didn’t know if any of what I said made sense.

Anyway, I got the job for some reason and I’ve been working there ever since.

Second Interview–Communications & Marketing Assistant with Health & Counselling

I prepared for this one a bit more than my first job. I copy-pasted a bunch of potential interview questions (both general and industry-related). I wrote down my answers to some of those questions in both paragraph and point form and tried to remember the main ideas. I also listed some questions I had for the interviewer.

Yes, I may have gone a bit overboard with this.

I had fun with it though–I love talking about myself and I’m proud of the things I accomplished.

For example, I was so proud of this stroke of genius and couldn’t wait to tell people about it (although I never mentioned it during my interview because I forgot about it).

Why did my mom boycott our microwave, you ask? Because my grandpa always burns his food in it and she didn’t want him to accidentally burn the house down. Why did my dad put my Nutiva spread in the fridge? I have no idea; I can only assume it was because he thought it was some kind of ice cream. All I can do is feel thankful that he did not think to put it in the freezer.

Anyway, back to how I somehow miraculously landed a job that pays well above minimum wage at 19 years old (which may not be much of an accomplishment according to some, but I was really proud of this).

I honestly didn’t even expect to get an interview–I almost didn’t apply to the job because it said I was required to have a portfolio ready if I were selected for an interview. I applied anyway, assuming I wouldn’t have to worry about the portfolio as I wouldn’t get selected to be interviewed.

As usual, I was wrong.

When I found out I had gotten an interview, I quickly put together a portfolio of my best work (Photoshop, photography, and posters I’d made).

I booked a practice interview with my school (since this was with the co-op program that my university has). She said I was okay, and that I should practice a bit more. I didn’t listen to her and thought, “you know what? Screw my future self. I don’t need to prepare for this, I’ll wing it and let Future Jen deal with it.”

Totally accurate depiction of what happened

Anyway, I went in for my interview super early (but at least I was well-dressed). I waited for a bit, looking around the office area. I recognized the place: I had been here before when I went to pick up a photo of me that my school had stolen–I mean, borrowed–from me. I had to email maybe ten people to get my one photo back.

When my interviewer came to lead me to the conference room where the interview would be conducted, I asked her if she was the one I had emailed about my photo and she said yes. What a coincidence–my pettiness, vanity, and determination to get back what was mine had led me to foster a connection with my interviewer before the interview had even started.

When she opened the door to the room, there were two other people sitting there. I don’t even remember what I thought–I think my mind was blank. I quickly realized that this was going to be a panel interview, which was unexpected. Even in my (very limited) preparation, the thought of being interviewed by more than one person never crossed my mind. I had researched interviews but had always skipped over the articles talking about panel interviews because I didn’t think they were pertinent to my situation.

Evidently, I was wrong–but again, I rolled with it.

First, they offered me some water. I refused, because I didn’t want to fidget with it. Okay, that was a lie–I just didn’t want to drink so much water that I had to go for a bathroom break. I knew if I asked to go to the bathroom, I would surely make a run for it.

Of course, my interviewers didn’t know my reasoning, so they gave me weird looks. Was my mouth dry in the duration of the entire interview? Yes, but that didn’t stop me.

They asked me questions about my involvement on campus and I answered them to the best of my ability. I talked about my experiences and opinions.

At one point, they asked me about teamwork. I couldn’t help but think of this meme:

I forgot who I was talking to and referenced this meme to my interviewers. They thought it was hilarious and super relatable. I didn’t want them to think I hated working with people, though, so I quickly told them that although sometimes group projects felt pointless and frustrating, most of the time I get along with others and am capable of working through differences. I even gave them an example–in my 12th grade calculus class, my friends and I split up our workload based on our strengths. My strength was writing, so I came up with a bunch of puns related to Fermat. In fact, our project title was “Pierre de Fermat and Why He FerMatters.”

Because he died without writing the proof of his last theorem since the margin of the book he was writing it in was too small…what a tease. I relate

I came up with a total of 27 Fermat puns but we only incorporated the one. I took my anger out on Descartes and called him a dick in front of my class and my teacher during the project presentation.

ANYWAY, I kept telling my interviewers jokes throughout the interview. I referenced a LOT of my tweets because they’re so underappreciated. At one point, I recommended a vegan restaurant that I absolutely LOVE, and one of the interviewers loves it too and another interviewer scrambled to write down the name of the restaurant (MeeT) so she could try it one day.

Yes, the food there is delicious and yes, it’s all vegan. My favourite is the Butter Chicken Poutine, so if you guys ever go to Vancouver, definitely let me know because I have so many good vegan restaurant recommendations. Anyway, I need to stop getting distracted and get back to the subject at hand.

At the end of the interview, they asked if I had any questions for them. After asking them my work-related questions, I told them I had one last question:

“What do you call it when a con man secretly plots to illegally download movies?”

They were bewildered.

I couldn’t help but grin. “A con’s piracy.”

This is the pun I’m most proud of, and they thought it was hilarious. I left them laughing, and one of the interviewers led me to her office to give me her business card in case I had any further questions about anything at all. We had discussed our shared passion for writing, so she told me she could help me if I emailed her. She also asked if I wanted a fidget cube, for some reason. Of course I took it, but now I kind of regret it because I gave it to my mom and now all I hear around the house are the “click click” sounds of the cube.

Hmm…actually, maybe I don’t regret giving it to her.

As I left, I noticed cacti stickers all around the office. I asked my interviewer about it, and she told me she just really liked cacti.

The next day, I emailed her a thank-you letter. I spelled one of the interviewer’s names wrong, but I think my joke made up for that:

I received a response relatively quickly:

Look how professional this sounds.

Anyway, I love this job. I get paid to do what I love, graphic design and knitting (yes, they pay me to lead knitting drop-in events).

Summary/Interview Tips

Disclaimer: don’t hate me if this doesn’t work for you.

• Don’t be afraid to let your personality shine through

• Observe your surroundings

• Ask relevant questions (it helps to do research on the place you're looking to get hired at beforehand)

• Do something memorable to set yourself apart from the other interviewees (for example, tell jokes or ask questions about the interviewer–like actually listen to them as a person. People love talking about themselves)

• Don’t forget to smile and seem friendly, enthusiastic, and eager

#random #interview #advice